Friday, August 26, 2016

Top 5 Ninja Songs

We here at Office Ninja Headquarters love music. We listen all the time, sharing Apple Music playlists and doing what we can to drive our boss nuts by playing the Hamilton soundtrack on repeat for 8 straight hours. We figured we'd share the best songs we've come across about or inspired by ninjas with the rest of you!

5. Sound of Silence - Simon & Garfunkle

What better anthem for ninjas than a song about silence? This hit from the 60s is perfect ninja'ing music, and stands up remarkably to the test of time. And Garfunkel was the perfect ninja - we're sure he inspired John Oats from Hall & Oates...

4. Songs About Ninjas - Everyman

This is actually an album title, but we recommend all these folk/acoustic rock songs on your ninja playlist. This album is perfect for some late night ninja stalking. Or you know, rummaging through your boss' desk after hours.

3. The Grand Duel (Parte Prima) - Luis Bacalov

This track from the Kill Bill 2 soundtrack is perfect ninja fighting music - play this and you'll be Uma Thurman in no time! We take no responsibility for broken furniture, limbs or loss of work. The last person to play this in our office was Scotty. His funeral was lovely.

2. Ninjas - Christophe Beck

From the Elektra soundtrack, this is one of our favorites when we're in the office. This instrumental track from the movie gets you pumped for ninja activities - especially at work. The last time we blasted it around here, Lee in Accounting accidentally got impaled with a throwing star. We're still not sure where it came from...

1. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Theme

How could we NOT include the most famous ninja song of all time?! This pop tune is the epitome of ninja songs, we dare you not to sing it while you're listening. In fact, send us video of you singing it - leave a link in the blog comments or tag us on Instagram, Twitter or Facebook with the hashtag #OfficeNinjaSongs!

Friday, August 19, 2016

Ninjas of the Week

It's that time again, when we celebrate the people and animals that did something ninja-worthy this week - something that helps them stand out from the rest of us mortals who can barely eat our nachos without spilling cheese on our shirts. So let's get started!


Astronauts Kate Rubins and Jeff Williams completed a 5+ hour space walk this morning, and installed a parking space at the International Space Station. A parking space. FOR OTHER SPACESHIPS. The walk was broadcast live on NASA's YouTube channel. lt's crazy enough to think we're only a few years away from robot cars, but casual space travel blows our minds!


Two paleontologists in Montana this week discovered an entire Tyrannosaurus rex skeleton buried in a mountain. The 66 million year old dinosaur is a rare find - there are only about 15 T-Rex skeletons found in the world. The 2,500 pound head was transported to University of Washington’s Burke Museum of Natural History and Culture in Seattle for display. Starting tomorrow through October 2nd, you can view it at the museum. Paleontologists Tufts and Love are still working on the rest of the skeleton, which is only 20% uncovered. I'm pretty sure no other ninja in history has been able to stealthily hide for 66 million years...


Bart's football went in the pool. Like a lot of dogs, Bart doesn't want to get wet. But he really wanted that football. So Bart, channeling his inner ninja, decided to take a raft out to rescue that ball. We should all take a page from Bart's book - a ninja always finds a way.


Amy Schumer released her new book this week, Girl With the Lower Back Tattoo, and its a great read into the mind of a woman who is definitely a ninja at empowering other girls and women - not taking crap from media and her haters, and just being herself, which means not apologizing for who she is and what she does. Congrats to Amy on her new release, and on being one of the funniest women in Hollywood.


What can we say about Usain Bolt? He's literally the fastest man on Earth. He's so fast, he has time to joke with Canadian sprinter Andre De Grasse during a heat, while the other two runners look like they're about to die. Usain deserves both of his Rio Olympic gold medals, and we salute him as the fastest ninja alive.

If this doesn't motivate you today, we don't know what will. Maybe those nachos?

Saturday, August 13, 2016

Office Olympics for the Win!

We here at Office Ninja Central have been paying close attention to the 2016 Rio Olympics this week – we actually haven’t gotten anything else done, and we’re a bit worried the boss is going to be angry. Just a few minutes ago, he walked in and gave us this face.

So we figured we should get to work… BY HOLDING OUR OWN OFFICE OLYMPICS! We’ve got five events to compete in and may the best office athlete win! Because we like you, and we don’t want to be the only office slacking off, we thought we’d share the events with you, in case you want to compete with your coworkers! Oh and Office Ninja takes no responsibility for the shenanigans we're about to explain. Compete at your own risk. Bonus points if the winner is named Simone.

Target Shooting

Take your best stapler, load that baby up, and pin up a picture of the boss across the office. Then, open up the stapler and aim for her/his face—uh, I mean tie. Aim for the tie. Closest to the target wins!

Chair Races

Take two chairs with wheels out to a tiled hallway, preferably wide enough for the chairs to race side-by-side. Otherwise, race them one at a time and best time wins. Bonus points if the boss comes around the corner and you take him/her out.

Coffee Mug Relay

This works best if the coffeemaker is on a different floor. Athletes start the farthest point away from the coffee, and race towards the coffeemaker. Your teammate, once you arrive, has to make the coffee from scratch – no using yesterday’s old sludge, save that for the boss – and then passes a full mug of coffee to a third teammate, who has to get it back to the start without spilling more than 10% of the coffee. I suggest picking someone wearing a nice crisp white dress shirt for the final leg.

Pommel Desk

This works best using the desk of the coworker you like least. Throw all their stuff on the ground, and attempt your best pommel horse routine using their computer as the pommel. Extra points are awarded if the employee whose desk you’re using reports you to HR and you finish your routine before they show up. Don't forget to stick your landing and smile!

Competitive Eating

Two athletes have to eat the oldest items in the company refrigerator, racing for fastest time possible. Vomiting is automatic disqualification, but you get a bonus point if the item is so completely covered in mold you can’t tell what it is. Blue cheese doesn't count.

Good luck, may the force be with you, and go for the gold!

Friday, August 5, 2016

Olympic Ninjas - Let the Games Begin!

We're back with another post about Olympic Ninjas from Team USA given that today is the Opening Ceremony for the Rio Olympics. Are you ready?! We are. And we know our Ninjas are also ready. So who are we featuring this week?

Sam Mikulak - Men's Gymnastics - USA

After breaking both ankles (ouch!) and a torn achilles over the years, Sam is back on the floor and ready to compete as one of five men on the USA Men's Gymnastics team. The competition begins tomorrow so don't miss it! He's competing in the individual competition as well as the team competition. It's been 32 years since the USA Men's team has won gold so let's make sure we are all sending these Ninjas our support.
“Sam is one of the most balanced gymnasts in the world. Some athletes are great in four events and two events they are average, and that eventually pulls them down. Sam is balanced on all six events. To me, that is magnificent. He has the difficulty and execution. I still can’t figure out why he has not had the consistency. I don’t get that.” - Olympican Bart Conner read more here

Men's Gymnastics begins tomorrow, Saturday, August 6th. 

Carlin Isles - Men's Rugby - USA

Known as "the fastest man in rugby", Carlin Isles is leading the charge to US gold. Apparently the last time Rugby was played in the Olympics the US won... but that was in 1924. So let's do it again! This time it's seven on seven and we've got Ninja Isles. Our first game, USA vs. Argentina is Tuesday, August 9th at 9am PST.

Jillion Potter - Women's Rugby - USA

You know you're a Ninja when you break your neck, recover, get diagnosed with cancer, recover, and then compete in the Olympic games. That's Jillion Potter. If that doesn't speak about resilience we don't know what does. She is ready to go and I would say that Fiji should be shaking in their boots because their first game against us (and Jillion) is tomorrow, Saturday, August 6 at 9am PST!

Paige Railey - Women's Laser Radial (1 person dinghy) - USA

She's won every other big competition/title there is so now it's all about topping it off with an Olympic Medal. Can she do it? This sailor competed in London 2012 finishing 8th and since then she's won gold in the 2015 Pan American Games and silver in the 2016 World Championship Experience. So she's poised to place and we'll be watching this Sea Ninja do her thing on August 8th.

Carli Lloyd - Women's Soccer - USA

This is soccer player Carli Lloyd, not volleyball player Carli Lloyd - she exists too. Yes, crazy. We're amped about Women's Soccer and one big reason is that they are the World Cup Champions and if (when!) they win Gold, it will be the first time in history that a team has held both titles at the same time. And if you remember, Women's Soccer has won the last four Olympic Gold Medals... let's not get cocky though, there's quite a few games to play before this history-making team can celebrate. Their first game is against France on Saturday, August 6th at 1pm PST.