Friday, June 24, 2016

Ninjas of the Week

5. The United Kingdom

And just like that, the UK voted to leave the European Union. I know the very first thing you're thinking is - what a ninja move! It's been over 40 years since the UK joined the EU and it feels like just overnight they are out. This sneaky move even crippled the stock markets across the globe. What does it leave in it's wake? Only time will tell.

4. Non-Retina MacBook Pro

Like a ninja in the night, the Apple non-retina MacBook Pro has disappeared from shelves across the country. We all knew this day would come I guess. It's been a great run, optical drive laptop, and we remain open-armed for retina displays and solid state hard drives in our laptops from here on out. KIT MU xoxo

3. Cleveland Cavaliers

In the last game of the NBA basketball series, Cleveland defeated the Golden State Warriors, 93-89. This is Cleveland's first major sports title in 52 years. Cavalier means Ninja, right? No? Well it should.

2. Jon Stark

He spearheaded the Battle of the Bastards this week and WOW. If winter wasn't here before, it is now. Jon road fearlessly into that battle and gave it his all despite the numbers and the odds. And once he escaped the trap Ramsay Bolton laid for him, he followed and broke into Winterfell and beat the flesh off of that little bastard. We've haven't been so excited and stressed out watching TV since Breaking Bad. Game of Thrones, you certainly have an arsenal of ninjas.

1. Sansa Stark

Speaking of Game of Thrones and badassery... Sansa Stark finally had her day. She was smart, calculating, and focused. And she finally got to give Ramsay what he deserved and she didn't have to raise a finger. She knew that the only way to rid the kingdom of this evil was to serve him up on a platter for his human eating dogs. NOM.

Friday, June 17, 2016

Ninjas of the Week

It's been a hard week for this country but the bravery and heroism shines through even at the darkest of times. When things seem grim just ask yourself, What Would Ninja Do? Well, here's what some of the top Ninjas of the Week did:

5. WauchulaGhost

When terrorist organizations spout hate and violence across the interwebs there are internet ninjas that sneak in and cut that shit out... and this week in the form of Gay Pride. In the wake of the Orlando Pulse Shooting hacker WauchulaGhost is the rainbow after the storm. Literally. Go get 'em WauchulaGhost. We applaud you.

4. US Men's Soccer Team

For the first time since 2009 the Men's National Soccer Team won a spot in the semifinals of the Copa America Centenario tournament. It wasn't an easy game - yellow cards and red cards were flying around but they got the ball in the net - twice. When the final whistle blew, the US team could claim victory. These ninjas are on to the next round!

3. Arya Stark

We've seen her beaten, bruised, nameless, and blind but she finally turned the tables and exacted revenge and - SPOILER - Arya killed the Waif. And all after a nail-biting chase through the streets of Bravos. She's got a long list of names after this one but we're all very excited that Arya Stark finally fought back. We're looking forward to many more duels in her future.

2. Senator Chris Murphy
When you hear the calls from your constituents and they are fed up, you spring to action. That's what Senator Chris Murphy of Conneticut did this week on the Senate Floor. And he held that floor. For almost 15 hours. This filibuster will go down in US history as the 8th longest filibuster and the issue: Gun Reform. Loopholes beware, Senator Murphy is after you and you can't hide!

1. Orlando's Pulse Club-Goers

Our Ninjas of the Week are the 102 brave and innocent men and women who fell victim to a horrendous hate crime at Pulse in Orlando. May we never forget the victims of this tragedy. We send our strength to their friends and families, and the first responders, doctors, nurses, and personnel who fought for days to save as many lives as possible. 

Friday, June 10, 2016

Ninjas of the Week

It's Friday so let's get the party started! We've got a lot of Ninjas to cover.

5. Bear in La Cañada

This week a black bear traveled out of the hills of La Cañada and into her human neighbor's backyards to take a dip in the pool... and sunbathe. Well, it is summertime and it's California so this ninja bear wasn't messing around. And one would argue, she is the state animal so she can do what she wants!

4. Roberta Mancino
Athlete and Stunt Woman, Roberta Mancino, jumped out of a plane in a wingsuit, with a team of jumpers, and an arsenal of GoPros to glide over an active volcano (I see lava and super hot steam!). One word: Ninja.

3. Hillary Clinton

Hillary Clinton made history this week, unofficially clinching the US Democratic Presidential Nomination. The first woman to do so for a major party. And not only that, she also tweeted quite a zinger yesterday to her presumed opponent Donald Trump in response to a jab. The true Ninja test will be which one clinches the presidency come election time.

2. Muhammad Ali

At the age of 74, Muhammad Ali went fighting one last time into the night. The death of famed boxer, Muhammad Ali, has brought about many conversations about who he was, what he achieved and what he stands for. Regardless of your opinion, Ali was, as the New Yorker states, a "symbol of racial pride; a fighter, a draft resister, an acolyte, a preacher, a separatist, an integrationist, a comedian, an actor, a dancer, a butterfly, a bee, a figure of immense courage." And we'd like to add one more: Ninja.

1. Unnamed Stanford Rape Victim

We don't know her name but we've had a glimpse into her struggle. Unfortunately it's a struggle many people know all too well. She was raped while unconscious laying behind a dumpster in an alley. Her rapist was convicted but his sentence extremely lenient. This week the victim's letter to her rapist gained national attention and it's not over yet. Her words have reached every corner of this country and she's inspiring others to stand up and take action against injustices like this one. Like a ninja she is faceless and nameless, but the ultimate fighter with the strength of a thousand ninjas, and she's still fighting. We're with you. We've got your back.

Friday, June 3, 2016

Ninjas of the Week

It’s Friday! Which means we’re highlighting our Ninjas of the Week. Ninjas come in all shapes and sizes and this week is no different.

Benjen Stark

This week on Game of Thrones [spoiler if you haven’t yet watched ‘Blood of my Blood’ which aired on May 29, 2016!] someone snuck back into the fold to save the day. And I think there are more days of saving the day ahead of him. Benjen Stark is back and somewhat transformed (into what we’re not exactly sure). He survived a White Walker Blade by way of a blade of Dragon Glass - huh?! After cheating death, he was able to whisk Bran to safety just as the White Walkers closed in. Bran may have lost Hodor (and we’re still upset about it!) but he gained a Ninja. Benjen the Ninja.


This week, as if by flying ninja kick, Uber announced that they raised the largest sum of funding ever raised in a single round by a U.S. company. $3.5 billion! The funds come from Saudi Arabia’s sovereign wealth fund. We’d like to call this 3.5 billion – Uber Ninja Bucks.

Tribune Publishing

Newspaper publishing is one of the oldest forms of media in this country and like any aging body you have to keep yourself young, healthy and relatable. This week Tribune Publishing changed their name to tronc. They’re hoping their new approach will help them stay relevant with the changing times. Many people on Twitter were ROTFLing about the change but we here at Office Ninja give them props for trying something new. Ninjas need to stay in shape and that’s what tronc is attempting.


When a bully is out there spouting off about things and making points they can’t back up, you need a Ninja to hit them where it hurts to keep them in line. That’s what CNN is doing. When Trump flip-flops, CNN karate chops with fact checking right there in the lower thirds during their broadcast (oh yes they did).

Yamato Tanooka

In Japan a 7-year-old boy, Yamato Tanooka, survived for almost a week in the forest by himself after his parents dropped him off to – wait for it - teach him a lesson. Well, joke’s on you, mom and dad! This kid is a ninja - he survived brilliantly and as officials stated he "displayed resourcefulness and resilience." Don’t worry, Yamato Tanooka, the world has your back if you need us but it sounds like you’ve got it all figured out. That’s why you’re our Ninja of the Week!

Now enjoy your weekend and hey, why not pop over to Amazon and stream yourself some Office Ninja? I promise you'll get some laughs and you might just be inspired to take on the world like the ninja that you are.