Ninja Sports

We here at Office Ninja Central love basketball. We can't get enough of it. Except Steve. He's not into sports. We're firing him soon. Anyway, we thought we'd give you our 5 favorite basketball players, ninja style - the player's last names spell out NINJA!

Nowitzki, Dirk

Dirk is a German player who has helped lead the Dallas Mavericks to 15 NBA Playoffs. He's also the first European player to play in the All-Star game. His mother was also a professional basketball player, and he just re-signed with the Mavericks for 50 million dollars! That's almost twice as much as we get paid...

Iverson, Allen

Allen Iverson is retired now, but he spent 15 years playing, most of those with the Philadelphia 76ers. His score-per-game average is 2nd only to Michael Jordan in playoff games. Obviously, he's in the Hall of Fame. Steve in our office is good at scoring too, but that's actually what's getting him fired...

Nash, Steve

Steve Nash, a Canadian basketball player, was an 8 time All-Star in his 19 year NBA career. He's considered one of the best shooters in the NBA, and on top of that, he's one of the most philanthropic people in the sport - Time magazine named him in the Top 100 Most Influential People in the World in 2006.

Jordan, Michael

Do we really need to introduce Jordan? He's the greatest basketball player of all time. All. Time. Heck, the word "Nike" is synonymous with "Jordan." He's won the MVP Award 5 times, he has the highest regular season scoring average. He's second only to Babe Ruth as the "Best Athlete of the Century." He spent all his years with the Chicago Bulls - he even retired and then came back for 3 years! Would YOU come back to your job post-retirement? 

Abdul-Jabbar, Kareem

Kareem spent most of his years with the Los Angeles Lakers, and played 20 seasons total in the NBA. He's one of the 50 Greatest Basketball Players of All Time, and at the time of his retirement, he led the NBA in points scored, games played, minutes played, field goal attempts, shots blocked... there's more, but you get the picture. Here in OUR office, we're first in staples removed, copies collated, beers chugged... uh, forget about that last one.

Ninjas of the Week

We know, it's Friday. The last place you want to be is behind your desk, your smelly boss breathing over your neck about that report you have no interest in finishing before you leave. We totally get it, because OUR smelly boss is standing over OUR shoulder, making us work every second up until 5pm. So let's talk about some people who don't have to work crappy jobs with smelly bosses.

5. ROMEO THE DOG

Romeo was stuck in the rubble, a victim of the Italy earthquake. But did he give up? Heck no! A ninja has to stay calm in tense situations, and save energy for when it's needed. Romeo barked for 9 days until officials found and freed him, and he was back with his owners with nary a scratch. What we want to know is what he ate while he was stuck in there for over a week. On second thought, we DON'T want to know...

4. TOM HOLLAND

Actor Tom Holland, also know as the new Spider-Man, is secretly a ninja in disguise. Tom, guided by his trainer, completed a sweet ass flip and spin while training to be what we think will be the best web-slinger ever. And he makes it look easy! I mean, we could totally do that move. If, you know, we ever put the box of donuts down.

3. VICTOR ORTIZ

Police officer Victor Ortiz risked his own life to save someone else's. Officer Ortiz pulled a man off of the New Jersey Transit train tracks RIGHT BEFORE the train came barreling through. Not only did he save the other man's life, he put his own in danger - he could have easily been pulled under the train himself! Officer Ortiz is a true hero, and ninja AF.

2. LINDA BURNEY

Linda Buney became to first indigenous woman to join the Australian House of Representatives this week. She was sworn in Wednesday. "If I can stand in this place, so can [other Aboriginal Islanders] — never let anyone tell you, you are limited by anything." A ninja not only stands up for what's right, they don't let anything keep them from their goals. We can't think of a better example than Linda.

1. JESSIE GRAFF

It's not enough that stuntwoman Jessie Graff is the stunt double for freaking Supergirl herself, Melissa Benoist, she's now the first female contestant to complete the Stage 1 obstacle course of the finals of American Ninja Warrior! I'm not sure that words can do her amazing performance justice, you just have to watch the video. She might be the baddest ass ninja we've ever had the privilege of covering on our site. Congratulations, Jessie!!

That's it for this week. Hopefully we killed enough time that your boss went to the bathroom and you can sneak out. Have a great holiday weekend, see you next week!!