Wednesday, March 16, 2016

NINJAS WANTED - 5 Exercises for Ninja Training

Just this week, Japan's Aichi prefecture put out a call for 6 full-time ninjas. We think this is a great choice, and it's going to provide work for lots of unemployed ninjas out there. While there are bound to be plenty of applicants, it shouldn't deter the amateur ninjas that are looking to take that next step.

You have to be in shape, both physically and mentally to be a ninja. But where do you start? We're here to help. We've compiled a list of 5 exercises you should start with, and why they're important. So put down those 7-11 nachos and... okay, fine. Finish them. Then get ready to get into NINJA SHAPE!


Ninjas have to be strong. Not just anyone can swing a sword with conviction, and without cutting your own head off by mistake. Pushups are a great starting point if you're out of shape, and you can do them anywhere! Just make sure you remove your swords first so you don't impale yourself.


Ninjas have to run fast. Like, uber fast. Whether it's on your way to or from an assassination, you've got to be able to move like the wind. Sprints will build muscle on those ninja legs of yours. Practice them at a park or even on the freeway!

Just kidding. Don't practice them in the park.


You know who would make an AWESOME ninja? Oliver Queen. I mean, I guess dressing up in a green hoodie and shooting arrows at people is pretty cool too, but we think he missed his calling as a ninja. And one thing that got him in ninja shape is the Salmon Ladder. This is not a beginner exercise, you should probably be able to do a couple of pushups and a few situps first.


While exercise is important, it's also important for a ninja to find their center within, and the best way to do that is through meditation. Meditation falls somewhere between not thinking and sleeping. The point is to clear your brain of distractions and stress.

Just make sure you do it at home, and not on the subway. Otherwise, you might fall asleep and wake up in Harlem.

Not that we'd know.


And finally, when you've done #1-4, you should finish it all off with stretching. A ninja has to be limber and loose, and able to squeeze into small spaces. Too many tacos & not enough stretching, and you're not going to fit into a garbage truck. Make sure to stretch out all those muscles before you head out to take on that kidnapping gig.

Do you have other exercises you do as a ninja? Let us know in the comments what keeps you in top ninja shape. And make sure to send Japan those applications!