Friday, April 22, 2016

Ninjas of the Week

It's Friday, so you know what that means - beers at 10am! No? Bad idea? Fine. I guess we'll have to settle for some new Ninjas of the Week instead!


This week, the country ofAustralia let the rest of the world know that it was not only fighting the war on cyber terrorism, but that it could launch its own cyber attack if necessary! On the one hand, we think this is a ballsy move, taking your enemies head on, which is very ninja-like. But on the other hand, wouldn't a ninja want to keep this information secret as to plan a sneak attack? We're going to give them a Ninja of the Week award anyway so we stay on their good side.


The statue of Hercules in Archanon, France got an, um, upgrade this week, when officials, who were tired of constant vandalism, decided to make the statue's penis detachable. We're not sure that the real Hercules would approve of his "appendage" being ninja'd by the city. However, I guess it's better than being stolen all the time by vandals. And where are all these stolen peni going?! Never mind. We don't want to know.


Russian daredevil OlegSherstyachenko, aka Oleg Cricket, recently tested his hoverboard skills on the edge of the MBK Tower in Dubai. He posted a short video showing himself hoverboarding on the edge of the 656 foot skyscraper, only inches from the edge. Our only explantation for this is that he is indeed a ninja, and is a true man without fear. He claims there's a longer video coming, we can't wait to see it! Oleg Cricket, YOU'VE GOT THE POWER.


It was the Queen's 90th birthday this week, and for that alone she deserves to be awarded ninja of the week. Not only has this amazing woman lived 9 decades, she's still the royal head of England! We only hope we can still feed ourselves and go to the bathroom on our own at 90, let alone run a kingdom. Happy Birthday, Queen Elizabeth II!


This week's Ninja of the Week was an easy choice. We want to pay tribute to a man who changed music forever - Prince. He was an incredible songwriter, performer, and human. For a brief time, he was actually nameless - he went by a symbol only! We honor the purple one by making him #1 this week. Thank you for all you've given us, Prince, you were taken from us too soon, and the world will miss your genius.